Utah Weights Woes

I'm a little nervous about going to Utah. Mostly excited. But apprehensive because I know that people are going to notice that I am (a lot) heavier than I was when I went down there two summers ago. The irony is that when I went down the last time I was in a state of chagrin to go since I thought I was too heavy at that point in time. Oh to be the size of when I thought I was fat before... haha

I am sure that everyone is going to be nice about it. I saw my Aunt Sariah yesterday and she said "You've put on weight. You look so much better now that youve put on some weight!" and my Grandfather told me that "You keep getting bigger!" but I think that was more to do with how he talks to the grandchildren he hasnt seen in a long time.

I dont want to go to Utah and have everyone know how big I've gotten. But that shouldnt really matter. Weight doesnt determine who we are and the only person that should be worrying about it is me. My Mom told me that people are still of the same worth regardless of their weight. If I came home and she was 5 lbs heavier, would I love her less? Absolutely not. Thats something that I need to remember. This weight does not define me and it is not indicative of who I am.

I just dont want people to mention my weight at all. I think its rude and crass and none of their business. I obviously have some issues with how I think other people perceive me.

When Aunt Sariah said that, I didnt take offense to it. I didnt think it was polite but she meant it out of good intention by telling me that I look good. It would have been an entirely different experience all together if she had just said "oh, you've gained weight' offhandedly. That I would be somewhat less than amused at.

I know this is me being jittery. I need to remind myself that this is a vacation to have fun on and relax. Other people are probably not tracking what I eat while I am there and they might not even notice how much I've gained. We shall see!