Anniversary

Today is our 6 month anniversary! That's of being official, not from when we first met or even when we first started casually dating. Wow, the time has flown! When I got out of the shower this morning, Robert had placed chocolates and a card on my pillow: 

The chocolates are a Rittersport, which I've talked a lot about to Robert before and he remembered that I liked them. And I am a big fan of hazelnuts in chocolate, so he got me that kind. I haven't had Rittersport (website here)  in a very long time, so it's a nice surprise. The other chocolate bar is one that he introduced me to: Green&Blacks organic Fair-Trade dark chocolate. He got the 70% dark instead of the 85% that he usually gets because he knows I like 70 better. Organic, Fair-Trade dark chocolate sounds very bourgeois/PacNW-er/Portland elitist, but of course I'm totally into that and I love it. And of course organic is just more healthy all around. 

The card was super sweet and totally made me tear up. I'm really lucky to have met such an awesome guy. *cue violins playing in the background* Not to turn this all "after school special" on ya, but he's definitely a keeper. 

I got him a little pillow. I got the colors to match the colors in our living room (brown and red), but he wants to keep it in the bedroom so the kitties won't ruin it. I got it off Etsy.com and I think it's adorable. He says he thinks so as well. :) 

For dinner we were going to Portobellos, but decided on putting that off until this weekend since both of us were tired and didn't want to travel over to the East side, get dressed up and all that. Instead we played it low key and got Thai takeout from Frangipani and ate that while watching 'United States of Tara'. I got Paad Thai, which I rarely get. It's the go-to dish for people that don't know Thai, and one of those I am not. It sounded good, though, so we both got the chicken one "mild plus". With a side of peanut sauce for my Thai, a cute boy next to me and a good show on, the night was a good one. 

Here's to six months together! 

6 Month Anniversary

Tomorrow is Robert and my 6 month anniversary. On one hand, it seems like we've been together much longer (in a good way) and then on the other hand it seems like the 6 month mark has come so quickly! When we became official and had been together a few months I put our 6 month mark in my planner not entirely sure if we'd make it until then. Not like I had any feelings of foreboding or whatnot, but because you never know what's going to happen. Now we're here, and it's flown by. I love spending time with Robert no matter what we're doing. He's totally "the one". :)

We both have to work tomorrow, and then in the evening he got us reservations at Portobello (website here and twitter here) , which neither of us have been to. I've heard good things about it. When I looked online for a menu, this was listed:

The menu changes almost every night, due to seasonal availability and what comes our way. 

Very Portland/hipster/eco-friendly. I love it. haha. I'm looking forward to seeing how it is and getting dressed up to go out together. Next we'll be celebrating a year together! Time sure does fly, especially when you're having fun (as the old saying goes).

Worst week of dating + Vegan woes

This week has probably been the worst week of dating that I’ve had in quite some time. Perhaps the worst week I’ve ever had dating wise.  The irony in that is that I’ve only actually been on one date and that all of my bad experiences this week have had to do with veganism.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Guy #1: 

So first of all a guy named Josh writes me on Grindr. He's from the coast and honestly stunning. We talked about movies, books, morals, downtime activities, the beach, you name it. It was totally simpatico. We became Facebook friends so we could see more of each other's photos. As we're texting after becoming friends on there, he asks "So are you like some kind of greenie?" I hadn't ever heard that term before, so I said "What does that mean?" He said "You know, like someone that cares about the environment and recycles and stuff." I said "Well, yeah, I care about the environment and recycle." He was like "Oh." I thought I knew what he was getting at, so I said "Well, I'm not one of those people with dreads who live downtown and don't shave. I don't have gauges or wear burlap. But I am vegan." He didn't respond for quite a while and said "That's just weird." Previously he had told me that he hunted and fished and that was a big part of his life. 

Even though I'm vegan and don't support or condone hunting/fishing, it's not really any worse than buying meat at the store. In fact, it's probably more sustainable and better for the environment. I just could never kill another living being. If other people do that, that's their business. I didn't say anything about what I thought about hunting or fishing to him. I didn't even bring up my thoughts on animal treatment whatsoever.

I texted him back, but he didn't return my texts again. He was all gung-ho about meeting until he found out about my plant-eating ways.

Guy #2:

This guy was the one that I wrote about the other day where he killed his roommate's fish by dumping bleach in their tank. He's probably shoveling transients into a shallow grave as I type this. For a refresher of that date, you can see the post here.

Guy #3:

We met online and talked through the week for an hour or two each night. He seemed like a fun gun, though he definitely had some quirks. I had mentioned that I was vegan at some point or another and he was always like "that's weird." It didn't phase me at all because I honestly don't really care if people think it's weird or not. On the last night of us talking, he asked "So why are you vegan?" I told him that there are three prongs to my reasoning: First, my health. Second, environmental sustainability. Third, compassion for animals. I gave a brief overview of each one and why it meant something to me, and for some reason that sparked him. He got super angry and completely went off, yelling about how I was "wrong", "delusional" and "had no idea what [I was] talking about." I told him that he was the one that had asked me, and the only thing I had done was explain my reasoning and not talk about anyone else's choices. I also said that I didn't need to justify my choices or validate my life through him and I am perfectly fine with my reasoning. He then hung up on me, which is an automatic deal breaker in my book (though him flying off the handle was as well). He did end up texting to apologize a few days later, but I have no interest in someone like that.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Needless to say, this week was pretty disconcerting dating wise. I called my best friend and chatted with her about it and she helped to ground me. I realized in talking through it that I had not done anything wrong. I do believe in my reasons for staying vegan and I am the least judgmental person when it comes to what other people eat. How can I judge? I ate meat for my entire life up until 1.5 years ago and most people haven't put in the time and effort into researching veganism that I have. I haven't walked in someone else's shoes, so I really can't say if their decision are "right" or "wrong". That's all subjective anyway. What's right to me isn't necessarily right to someone else.

I don't preach, I don't make comments on other people's food, and I don't shove my ideas down other people's throats. I post stuff on facebook, but that's a forum for people to look at things if they're interested in it. If they aren't it's just like anything else on the internet: just don't click on it.

I think it's really unfortunate that people are so closed minded when it comes to me eating differently than them, and I also think it's very ironic. The general assumption is that vegans are super judgmental about everyone else, but the only thing I've found is that other people are judging me. Ironic much. I guess it's good that the judgmental ones are getting weeded out, because what I eat shouldn't really be a deal breaker in my opinion. I wouldn't want to date someone that expected me to conform to their beliefs just because.

I'm reminded of an article from TODAY.COM that found 30% of meat eaters won't date a vegetarian. Yes, I know this comes from an entertainment site and it's not a peer reviewed article. They also only asked people on one dating website, even though their pool of respondents was 4000. So this isn't something set in stone. But that floored me. 30% is really high! And that's just for vegetarians; I'm vegan! Interestingly enough, only 4% of vegetarians said they wouldn't date meat eaters. Anyone see who's really doing the judging here? Ever since I've read this I've been discouraged. Why, might you ask?

At the very best estimate, 10% of the American population identifies as homosexual.
For homosexual males (to which I am attracted), that would mean 5% of the population. That's already a pretty low number of viable candidates
Here's where the math takes on a "guesstimate" format, but here goes:
Of those 5% of gay males, maybe half are dating someone. That's 2.5% who are available. Then only 70% of those people are going to be ok with just vegetarianism? What about veganism?
What about the other caveats of people I could date: Men under 30? With a stable job? With a car? That don't do drugs? That brings the dating pool down to like .00005% of the population. And that's not even talking about whether our personalities mesh or what our interests are. When women say "all the good ones are gay" I find it incredibly naive and somewhat offensive.

Anyway, the moral of the story? I shouldn't have to give up my beliefs to be with someone, and I'm not going to. I am doing what's right for me and eventually I'd like to be with someone that respects that.

Here's hoping I don't end up a crazy cat lady.

To the boy I went on a date with last night...

To the boy I went on a date with last night:

Let me remind you how the scene went. I ordered the vegan boca burger. You asked "Why don't you get a regular burger?" I said "Oh, I just don't animal products." For some reason, that reminded you of a story of your old roommate where you poured a cup of bleach into her fish tank because you were annoyed the water wasn't clear enough. I asked "....Um, 

didn't that kill all the fish?" As you cackled loudly you chortled "Of course!" and then stared at me for awhile because I wasn't joining in the laughter.

Regardless of me eating animal products or not, I would never find this story funny. In fact, I'm worried you are a sociopath and your old roommate is probably in the trunk of your car. Needless to say, that dinner got wrapped up fast.

Freak.

So I went out downtown last night to CCs and ran into tons of my friends there. It was fun and I’m glad that I went out. I spent $0, which is the perfect amount to spend. Haha. I didn’t drink anything because: A. I didn’t want to spend the money, and B. I don’t need the calories from it. While I was down there I also ran into the ex I mentioned a few posts ago. I was going to go say “hi” but he was trashed and making out with some guy and then they left together. Though he totally has the right to do that it turned me off to the thought of hanging out with him again, especially since he was “so busy this week” and wanted to put hanging off until next week. It’s not really a big deal. That ship sailed a long time ago so nothing has really changed. I had a good time while I was out so that’s what matters, then dove my stick home without any problems!

Late night phone calls...

The ex called me tonight and we chatted on the phone for about an hour and a half. About the good times we used to have, some of the things that had gone wrong, what we were up to recently. We havent hung out in about a year and a half. Its been a while! 1.5 years = 1.5 hours of convo. Guess the math works out. lol. He said that he missed the sound of my laugh, and when he said "I used to love you" i could feel my body physiologically reacting to that. My breath caught in my throat and my pulse quickened. His birthday is Aug 18th and sometime before that we are going to meet up when his schedule clears up to hang out. No strings attached; just hang out. I don't want to ramble about it too much since it might not happen that we even do get to meet up, but in the event that we do I am really excited for it. I havent seen him in a long time and I would love to catch up and just be around him again. I wonder what we would do for when we hang? A happy hour? A hike? A movie? I guess it all depends on weather and what he wants to do. The hanging out is going to be low key, just to hang out and have fun. Thats what you do with exes, yes?

'I Hate Valentines Day'

I just popped in ‘I Hate Valentines Day’. Apparently the main character is played by Miss Nia Vardalos, queen of bombshell movies. I don’t know how this one is going to turn out but on the back cover it says “Every relationship should last no more than 5 dates so that she never gets dumped or hurt.” Nia Vardados gets guys that want to go on just more than one date? Lets get real here. For some reason I don’t have that luck and Nia does? Mmmhmm. And lets take a look at another fact here: Shes no Carrie off ‘Sex and the City’. I’m not buying it.

And I’m not even going to get into all the problems Nia has in this film. 5 dates only? Whats the point?

Workout for the day: 2.5 hours cardio. Treadmill + Full Body Crossramp.

Second date?

I don't know what it is, but for some reason I'm the first date king. As in I go on a lot of them but then no second dates. Either I'm not interested, or, more often, they arent interested on their side. So my date the other day was fun(ish) although there wasnt an amazing connection. We had been texting for a few weeks all through the day but then after the date it was BAM and nothing. Even though I texted him. It's not like I'm lamenting this guy in specific. I am just noticing a somewhat unpleasant trend. Maybe when it's the right guy a second date will be soon behind. I guess time will tell!

I'm on my way to a date right now. I'm a little nervous, but that's always how it goes, yes? If I wasnt going on this I would be spending my time poolside and at the gym.

Yesterday I did 3 hours of cardio and today I am going to do light weights and then 2 hours cardio. I've been way motivated for the past week. And coincidentally enough this is one week of being meat, fast food, coffee, pop and alcohol free.

So I went to dinner last night to Berbati's with some friends and then we went out afterward. The dinner and going out was a lot of fun but there were two things that I wasn't super excited about that happened:

A. The guy that I am crushing on (we shall call him "B") told me that he usually goes for more masculine guys.

We met last week and then had a date at Fat Straw on 23rd a few days later. We also have a date for Tuesday where I am treating him to fondue at the Rheinlander (happy hour) since it's his birthday. I ran into him last night and we got to texting and he said that he was unsure about what he was thinking because he is usually attracted to guys that are more masculine. That makes sense because everyone has their preferences. I do, of course. I just think it's too bad because he is cute and fun and has his life together. I don't feel bad that I am effeminate at all because that's just who I am. I guess we shall see how the fondue date goes with B, though it doesn't seem like it will go anywhere.

B. I wore a trench coat last night that I had to take off when we went out dancing. I didn't really want to but it was too hot in there and it would have looked weird if I would have kept it on. I felt like a stuffed sausage. When I asked my friend "Does this make me look fat?" he responded "Well... Everyone has different body types and its different for everyone what fat means."

Ugh.

And the dieting begins. Again. I have fallen off the wagon on that lately with how busy i've been but now I am going to go hardcore. I think it is fascinating how some people have never worried about weight. Like they don't think about it. That is so foreign to me. I have always thought about it. Food, weight, the scale, numbers, calories. It's always been something that I think about since early high school. Kurt (my bro) said it isn't something that he ever thinks about. He just eats when he is hungry and has food that tastes good. I know that jealousy and envy are poisonous but I cant help feeling green about that. It's so... odd. I wonder if I will have that one day? My Mom told me one time that people eat when they are hungry and then pretty much forget about it from that point forward. They don't keep food logs or run over the food in their heads from the day. I think thats very cool. I just can't seem to do that.