Speaking of the new roomie, she's moving in today. The old one moved out, which is a huge relief. The irony is that I wanted things to work out with her but everyone told me I shouldn't move in with her. Every single mutual friend that we had together told me that she was bad news bears but I thought "Maybe she's matured. Maybe it will be different than she's left every other living situation that she's had." Unfortunately not. Everyone told me that it would ruin our friendship and that it was a mistake, but I didnt listen. Now we are no longer friends and she's moved out early. Am I sad? Not about her moving out. It's a huge relief actually. I am sad, though, that our friendship is over. We have years and years of history together. 10 years to be exact.
She said that she "couldnt take" living there any longer with how the living situation was. I am not really sure what she was talking about and when I asked her to explain she just got angry. I don't play music, I didnt have people over (thats what happens when you have no furniture!), I dont keep odd hours, I am very clean, I provided all the kitchen utensils and appliances, I drove her to and from work on many occasions and never asked (or received) any gas money, I cleaned up after her... I'm not really sure what she found fault in. And I didnt rub cleaning up after her in her face either.
Let's take for example when I went to Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago. When I left the trash was almost full. And let me preface the beginning of this story with the fact that the old roomie had taken out the trash all of three times with the year that we lived there. I came back from vacation and the trash was overflowing. There were dirty dishes in the sink. The cats had not been fed or watered. The mail had not been checked. The apt had not been cleaned in any way. I vacuumed, washed the counters, did the dishes, checked the mail, fed and watered the cats and straightened up. When I ran into "X" in the hallway I said "X, do you mind taking out the trash? I think it's your turn."
Reminders:
1. The times X has taken out the trash could be counted on one hand.
2. I had been on vacation, meaning that I hadnt even been contributing to the trash.
3. Nothing else had been done in the apt.
4. I cleaned up everything else in the apt without mentioning anything.
5. I asked in a nice way for something that I shouldnt even have to ask about.
So you would assume that X would take out the trash right? Bahaha. Apparently, in "X language", what I did was an assault on her and meant I was attacking her viciously. Ensue meltdown and anger from her side.
Now, someone could argue that I had created an environment where I enabled her to be lazy. True? Absolutely. The fact of the matter was that I really didnt mind cleaning up after her and keeping the house in order. I don't splash bleach over the walls and vacuum every night; I just like it when there isnt garbage on the floor (like there was when I got home). So when I asked her to do something small, in a nice way, apparently that was such a departure from what she was expecting that that meant she needed to react in the way she did.
This is something that was the straw that broke the camels back for her. Me giving her rides, cleaning the apt and keeping quiet in my room was something that drove her away. I was out of control, right? I'm not saying we didnt have other issues. There was the fact that she hadnt paid the PGE bill in 6 months when I paid all the other bills. They were supposed to even out to about $50 each month so she took care of that and I did the other utilities. There was the fight about when she "forgot" to change the cat litter when I went on vacation even though I specifically asked her to and one of the cats ended up having a mess in the living room (which I cleaned up). There was the issue of when she insisted on being my date for Kurt's wedding and then decided not to go but didnt tell me until I was walking out the door to go to the temple (and I had to ask her instead of her coming to me). So it's not like this was her moving out over a bag of trash. It was a lot of little things.
I'm happy to see her go. I don't want to have to call and make sure the bills are paid each month. When someone says "I paid the bill" I expect that to be the truth. I don't want to have to walk on eggshells all the time. I don't want someone that only talks to me when they want rides, then never offer (even once) to chip in for gas or say "thank you". I want someone that helps out sometimes with cleaning. It will be nice to have someone that isn't volatile and angry all the time.
So the new roomie moves in tonight. I'm excited and relieved. For sure.
